While bringing in the New Year, one of your goals might have been to get more adventurous and start dating. Or maybe it was even to get into a new relationship. Both of these are great goals to have, but sometimes we can miss one of the most essential parts when meeting a new love interest... the first date!
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| Source: Pexels (Jeswin Thomas) |
#1 Do.... Prepare yourself for the date
When going on a date with someone, there's always this unwritten checklist that we go through.
Hair, check.
Outfit, check.
Perfume or Cologne, check.
Breath, triple check! (at least for some people, lol)
All of these are things that we want to ensure are situated before even stepping out the door. As good as you look on the outside is how you should feel on the inside so always make sure that dating is something you actually want to do. Even if you're just going out with someone in a friendly manner, don't make people regret going out with you by the end of the night.
Don't...Overthink it
Nobody likes people that do too much so always do just enough. For those that may not understand what "just enough is", allow me to break it down. Be kind but don't be nice to the point where it doesn't seem authentic. You could wind up saying something you didn't even mean to say if you're not careful! Being yourself is the best way to be on the first date. Be YOU! It's the easiest way to be.
#2 Do... Be involved in the conversation
Nonverbal communication such as eye contact and head nodding will help affirm your date that you are listening to them attentively. If you don't understand something they're saying, there's nothing wrong with asking. If the conversation gets dry, try to think of things that are happening around you like if someone at the table next to you says something interesting or a current event that the person would know about in areas such as music or sports.
Don't... Talk too much
If you don't let the other person get out their thoughts then they will feel like you are not a good listener. There's nothing wrong with responding to what the person says to you, but do not overtalk them and let them finish what they are saying completely before interjecting. Being the proper balance of listening and talking will show this person you have a good background in communication with others.
#3 Do... Be somewhat assertive
It's always good to go into a situation knowing what you want and what your motives are. Let the person know that you're interested in pursuing them or if you enjoy the date, that you want to go out again. Showing some sort of self-awareness or strength can really help in some cases with going on a date. It's because confidence many times is more attractive than intimidating & depending on what you say or do, assertiveness can be put under the belt of confidence.
Don't... Be overbearing
This goes back to Step #2 as far as not doing too much. Let the person know what your intentions and goals are without making them feel like they have no other option, but to say yes to you because you're being intimidating. Respect what they say and their responses. Listening goes a long way, everyone appreciates feeling heard so what do you have to lose?
#4 Do... Learn from your past experiences
Sometimes things that happen to us in previous relationships can make us feel discouraged when wanting to try something new. However, you can't let a bad relationship stop you from getting into another one that could be far more happier and healthier for you. Anything that you did wrong in the previous relationship, learn & take responsibility for it...then move on.
Don't.... Take out your past experiences on others
The new person you're dating doesn't need to hear a 30-minute long rant about how your ex/baby-daddy cheated on you nor does the new person that you're dating need to hear that you crazy ex-girl keeps blowing up your phone on the hour because she wants you back. Let the negativities of your past relationship go. Whatever happened was a lesson and take the lessons you've learned onward. The new person your with should be learning the improved version of you, not the old one that was drained and stressed all the time.
#5 Do...Remember your personal boundaries
If you don't want someone touching you regardless of how intimidating they are, SAY THAT! I can't tell you how many people have told how they felt uncomfortable on a date but didn't say anything. People only do things that make you upset or uneasy if you allow them. Being vocal about what you don't like in the beginning will help the person understand you better & will help you test if they actually listen to you.
Don't...Be too uptight
Setting boundaries is a good thing to do early when starting a new relationship to ensure you and the person you are dating are on the same page. You still have a life though!! Let this person get you out of your comfort zone justtttt enough to try something new. It may be a new type of food, a lounge you've never been too or maybe even an event that you've never even heard of-- any of these things could open you up to new experiences with a new person. Who knows, this one choice could become a tradition for both of you.
If you don't do anything else, at least take one of these tips and use them in your dating life. If they work, thank me later! 😉
Always a pleasure sharing with you, thank you.
