Boo'd Up Season

Now that the weather is getting cooler, it's definitely time to get yourself a boo or significant other! For some people, it's easy! For others, it's the hardest task ever. That’s why I am here to tell you that it doesn’t have to be. A lot of times when you’re with someone you like, they are just as nervous as you are if not more. The following tips I have are ones that can not only help you but can be applied in situations that don't always include personal relationships.

The Pursuit
I know speaking to people isn't easy for everyone, especially when they may be shy or socially awkward, but it can be done with just a little bit of effort. It takes one going past the initial introduction to really make someone interested. Whether it's asking them about tasks they've completed throughout the day or bringing up topics that can be discussed between the two of you. Learn about them without making it such a uniform conversation. After you feel as though you've learned enough about them, move into putting what you've learned to the test.

You can do this by confirming the information you know about them with them. Ask them questions that show them that you were listening when they told you things.

Do all these things without trying to be invasive or overbearing. You don't want that person to feel like you're being extra, but still, make them aware of the fact that you're feeling them.

Make them want to look forward to being around you and do your best to make every interaction positive, even if it's short.

Sticking Around
After you feel like you all are close enough, still continue pursuing them. Time one of the biggest contributing factors when it comes to someone evaluating your relationship with them. Not just the time spent together, but what's actually happening in that time. You should be able to learn something new every time you're with them, never stop learning. Also, continue to keep things exciting and interesting. Avoid hum-drum conversations with them to ensure they will not eventually become bored with you. Express to the person that you want to keep talking to them and make the best of every interaction. No, you all won't have a great interaction every time, but that's okay but its not intended to be perfect.

If you feel the person is starting to drift away or become too distant, address it. Addressing it will ensure that the person is at least aware of the fact that this isn't just a seasonal thing. Or even if it was a seasonal thing, you both are on the same page.

If you find yourself in a situation where you are the one that is becoming uninterested, do your best to...

1. Put yourself in the other person's shoes
2. Be understanding of the potential attachment, if any, that either of you could have had

You want this person to understand that you are wanting to move on in the least dramatic way possible. No bad blood, no animosity. There may be tension after it initially happens, but if it's a situation where you both could be friends why not?

Or...

If you're feeling like you really would like to be with this person, but you don't know how to go about keeping them around, address this as well. Timing is everything so if you feel deep down that it's not the right time, don't ask them. It takes a bond to mature first on its own before both parties understand its true place value. Don't rush into something that could be meant to be just because you want to do things in your own timing.

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Since it’s now no longer sunny all day or beaming hot, it’s fewer activities for you to enjoy with your boo but don’t let that discourage either of you from hanging out. Especially when there are more things to do than just Netflix & Chill. Doing research on events in your area is very essential to what’s going on. Sometimes when we don’t hear about things, we think nothing is going on which isn’t always the case. Find different festivals, upcoming concerts, or even... in your area.

Pro-Tip: Surprise your significant other by going to the event without telling them and make them guess the entire way there just to see where their mind is.

If research doesn’t help or you don’t have too much money right now, try anything of the things listed below:

• Game Night 
• Scary Movie Night 
• Walk through the park 
• Carve Pumpkins 
•  Thrift Shopping 
• Mini Photoshoot 
• Cooking a Meal

For those cold nights where it's just you two together, you could also try to play music. Sometimes it’s not even about getting in the mood, it’s about having that vibe with another person. Or even just wanting something to break tension and silence in a room. Here are some songs that might help...

Ari Lennox- Shea Butter Baby                                   
Wale Feat. Jeremih - On Chill                                       
Ella Mai- 10,000 Hours
DRAM Feat. Erykah Badu - WiFi
Jacquees Feat. Tink - Outta Line
Daniel Cesar Feat. Kali Uchis- Get You
H.E.R. Feat. Bryson Tiller - Could've Been
Brent Faiyaz - Stay Down
Miguel Feat. J.Cole & Salaam Remi- Come Through and Chill
Gravez - Call Me Back Feat. Elhae




Make this fall season one that's both memorable and has good vibes.




Always a pleasure, thank you.