Entitled & Englightened

"The truth will set you free, but first it'll piss you off." - Gloria Steinem 


Before I actually get into the post, I just wanted to take a moment to thank all of my wonderful readers & genuine supporters for being so patient and gracious through this time of transition for me. I’ve had so many different changes in my life, both good & bittersweet, that I haven’t had time nor the creative energy to put out content. I’m big on my content being of good quality so that’s why it took longer for me to post something than normal.

I’d rather put out nothing at all than to just put out anything.

•
I find it interesting how much of ourselves we give away to people. Not only that, but why do we have to go through so many different "situationships" to remember our self worth? "Treat others the way you want to be treated" doesn't always apply to one who is subconsciously entitled. Twisting one's words to get what you want is selfish and manipulative... but people do it everyday.

I've had two situations in my life remind me of how entitled one person could actually be. I didn't realize it was this bad, but now that I do I am more than happy to share this knowledge with you all for future reference.

In one, I was told in shorter words that how I felt didn’t matter, and that because it specifically wasn’t me in involved in the circumstance I didn’t have the “right” to weigh in on discussions about it. Mind you, this circumstance not only affected me personally but it was causing someone I love to feel hurt and degraded. Wouldn’t you want to intervene in some way to stop the madness? To ensure that said person was taken care of?

In another, I was in this situation where someone who I called myself trying to talk to would always imply in short words to wanting to have sex with me. (Now if you know me, you know I ain’t even cut like that so that wasn’t gone happen.) What was crazy was how I kept letting it happen & excusing the behavior all because I thought it could develop into something else.

Man, somebody should’ve pinched me cause I was dreaming.
A straight up fantasy land.

It's nothing wrong with wanting your cake & eating it too, but if you're going to go after it then do it the right way.
Respectfully.
Graciously.
In a way that doesn't make me question your true self-esteem and character.

Both of these situations reminded me that even though you want someone to show emotions or do things the right way, if they’re not level-headed enough to be respectful in doing so, even if they are upset, they will cause damage to a situation that has no place being there. In both of these situations, neither of these people expressed & communicated in the most effective way their emotions.

Thank God that now I don't have to deal with someone who's a man physically, and still a young child mentally. I believe there's a difference between having immature elements to your character and just being downright childish.

Now that those things have came, went, and been resolved,  I want to remind you-- the reader-- that going through this may have left me mind-boggled and questioning almost every word that would leave my mouth, but it only amplified my self worth. Why? Because I knew that the treatment I was being handed wasn’t on my level and I deserved better around me. Since being reminded of my self-worth, I refuse to let anyone treat me as anything less of royalty and plan on only doing things that will add success to my future.

And just to clarify...

Royalty doesn't mean putting me on a pedestal. (I think that's where a lot of people mess up)
I mean in the context of  treating me as if I am adequate enough for your compassion & love. Additionally, that I am being edified at the highest esteem possible.

This treatment also isn’t subject to gender. A lot of times women like to to be treated like a queen, but forget that they want/need a king. How can you expect him to treat you so highly when you treat him like the scum of the earth?

Both genders need to do better with their treatment of each other, and if you’re trying to dog someone specifically then don’t dog the rest of us... half the time we don’t even know you or care about your situation. But we will, however, address the disrespect.

You just feel entitled to say what you want because you’re letting your confidence morph into cockiness, and that’s unfortunate.


Knowing what I know now, I would have never handled either of those situations the way I did. I had to remember that not everyone’s maturity level is where it may appear to be and you can’t give so much of yourself away

It is above me now.


Always a pleasure sharing with you, thank you. 

The Importance of Black-Owned Business

As many of you may know, there are many black businesses in existence but few are actually known about to be patronized. For the ones we do know about, we tend to complain about buying from because of the prices. What we fail to realize is that if they're not making sales like they should, the prices are going to be higher because they business still needs to make profit.

Not only that, but if you can spend the same amount at another store or even more-- why not just keep the money circulating within your own community? The African-American community gives so much money to other races when we don't even support our own how we should. This is not to put-down other business owners in any way, shape or form nor of any other ethnicity but it is to shine a light on black owned businesses that deserve more credit & actually have some pretty cool products. Don't let the prices intimidate you because higher quality costs more.

Buying from these business additionally helps to.. I hope learning about these businesses inspires you to create your own or spread the word about them. If you're feeling unsure of a brand, it also helps to try and look up reviews on them just to make sure it's what you think it is. (YouTube is great for this!)

Listed below are various black owned businesses categorized by skincare, apparel, hair care/grooming, and makeup. There's hundreds of others that exist whether locally or even internationally. Let's help them grow this year!

Disclaimer: All black-owned businesses were found with my own research. I have not been sponsored in any way. The pictures are also not my own. 

Skincare

• Bolden

https://www.boldenusa.com/

Their mission is to help women of color not only embrace their natural beauty, but also to create products that give representation to dark skin tones within the skincare product field. Their products also help cater to women that suffer from hyperpigmentation (when melanin is produced on more areas of the body than others naturally; creates dark spots.) I would recommend this brand because after speaking to them personally, they not only care about their consumers genuinely, but they also take heed to their customer feedback when it is provided.

• Scotch Porter

https://www.scotchporter.com/  (Also sold on Amazon)

Y'all know I couldn't leave my guys out the equation!! They have to keep their skin up too, right? Scotch Porter is a brand that has products for both your body & hair along with products specifically for shaving and for those of you that rock beards! One product that stuck out to me was their masculine wipes. It probably sounds weird, but it actually could probably be a life saver for a lot of people. Especially when a lot of guys tend to be more active (gym, sports, etc.) I didn't even know these were available for men so now that I do I'm lowkey interested for someone I know to try it and let me know the results. 

• Bevel

https://getbevel.com/  (Also sold on Amazon & Target Online)

Bevel is a brand that specializes in producing products that can reduce both irritation, and razor bumps from shaving. They also offer a shave plan that includes a razor with 60 extra blades, a shaving brush, priming oil, shave cream, and restoring balm (pictured above).  I like the design of the product line both minimalistic and masculine. They also make it a point in their brand to cater not just to your shaving needs but your overall hair needs as well. This brand is also safe for women to use for their shaving needs. If your skeptical in any way, just check out the reviews!



Hair Care

• Delish Condish

http://www.delishcondish.com/

I remember seeing this brand somewhere on social media awhile ago, and found it so neat how their products were named after items considered natural & food such as mango or  I personally plan on buying from this brand because I like the vibe I receive from their platform. They have products for both your hair, face, and body needs. When the time comes for me to buy products from them, I will do a review & follow-up. Their site is currently shut down to fill orders, but they will be back like they never left soon. 

• NaturALL

https://naturallclub.com/

I've seen this brand featured on YouTube multiple times, and from what I could see they have very nice packing and make it their initiative to have each product within their line to be made with all natural products and essential oils. One of which being avocado that is good for adding slip when washing natural hair, and the nourishment of vitamin A to the hair follicles. For all my natural hair readers, this brand is definitely one to try if you're looking for a brand that has ingredients that aren't too harsh on your hair. 

Makeup

• Juvia's Place

https://www.juviasplace.com/

I already was aware of the brand Juvia's Place because of it's constant reoccurrence in tutorials on various social media platforms. What stuck out to me the most about this brand was how high of a pigmentation their palettes have. This can range of eyeshadow, blush, and even highlighter. I've always been interested in trying out this brand so potentially in the future I could buy a product from them & review it. If you're interested in seeing more shades they have & palette reviews yourself, just search them up on Instagram, @juviasplace

• IMAN

https://imancosmetics.com/ (Also sold at Walmart, Target, & Amazon)

Iman is a well-known model of color that has been in the modeling industry for years now. IMAN Cosmetics was launched in 1994 , and is still a brand that promotes diversity for all women of color who are looking for a product to cater to their needs. Since in some cases it's considered a drugstore brand, the products within the line are cheaper and easier to find. They also do not test their products on animals (as addressed on their site), and has a three-shade range collection for skin shades of dark olive, light brown, ebony, and backtracking to regular olive as well.  

Body

• Nubian Heritage

https://www.nubianheritage.com/ (Also sold on Amazon & at various healthy living stores.)

Nubian Heritage is a brand that is all about promoting wellness through their product line. These products being in the categories of  body wash, deodorant, body scrubs, hair products, and even vegan hair care. I've personally used their Indian Hemp & Haitian Vetiver deodorant, and enjoyed it very much. The smell wasn't too strong, and actually did what was advertised on the packaging. When using various brands, we're not always aware of the impact those products can have on our bodies. Many ingredients in those products are actually harmful, but we would never even know. With their products being all natural, it can prevent those bad affects in the future, and still work just as good if not better.

• Legendary Rootz

https://legendaryrootz.com/

I've personally bought from this brand, and I can attest to them being very responsive when emailed about my order. It also came in a decent amount of time, and the product came out better than expected. (I ordered the Beaute Noire shirt in the color pink) They have such cute designs and accessories if you're looking for new items with great quotes to add to your closet! I would highly recommend this brand, their quotes are always so creative and inspirational. Their brand caters to men and women, but also offers unisex clothing in general. 

• My Pride Apparel 

https://myprideapparel.com/

Let me just say how much I genuinely do love the message that this brand is trying to spread. Every time they pop up on my timeline when I'm on social media, they always make me smile. Their career collection (pictured above) is what they're most known for. Any career you can think of is on there, I can guarantee it! It's important for us as POC to represent ourselves, along with our culture, not just in any classroom, but in any board room or room where you are in any way challenged or made uncomfortable because of your skin tone. They have various quotes and designs of sweatshirts, tanks, and hats on their site that could fit close to anyone's style. They offer clothing for men and women, along with children's sized clothing.

To find more black owned businesses, use the device you're reading this post on & type in "black owned ____", insert whatever type of business you're interested in. Hopefully you find what you're looking for.

Always a pleasure sharing with you, thank you.

God Moving on my Behalf: Life Update

Hello my wonderful readers, I hope you all are warm somewhere reading this or if you are somewhere warm, stay there!

Recently, my life has been a whirlwind of changes. Some of these being good, others are ones that were out of my control. After ending my internship last fall, I came into a lot more extra time that I didn't know what to do with. This resulted in me initially being lazy, a drastic increase in my senioritis, and me always spending money eating out (which is something I still need to work on.)  Also, during this time I started actually finding myself being more distant from God. Not because of the situations that were going on around me, but because I wasn't making my time with God a priority as much as I had been doing before. A lot of this was just from me putting my trust and energy in men that didn't understand my worth or just wanted to use me for negative personal gain.

I've been trying to give a lot more situations in my life to God, but it's honestly been hard. And it's odd because it's something I normally don't struggle with. With my wavering trust came distractions. These distractions came in the form of people, places, and things that had nothing to do with what I actually had to do. I admit, it's okay to have fun from time to time but it's only so far it can go before it gets tiring or you come back into reality.

I had to remember that not only are the goals that I have for myself high, but the plans that God has for me are greater than what I have to imagine so I can't just sit around, and wait for things to happen.

After coming to this realization, I begun researching a lot more opportunities for students looking to pursue the career field I'm interested in. This included summer programs, internships, scholarships, and the simple networking skills I used to connect with people who are already where I want to be. This process had so many dead-ends, shortcomings, and disappointments that weren't always anticipated but it made all the difference when I kept a positive attitude towards all of it. Now I'm winning scholarships, making connections in my future career field, and finding genuine happiness with myself again.

People always wonder how I get all these different opportunities or meeting this person-- it's just me networking (aka, planting a seed) , and letting God handle the rest.

If it's meant for me, it will come to pass. 

Now as I prepare for college, I'm realizing that trusting God on the situations that I have both knowledge and no knowledge of, do more good than harm for me. Not just trusting Him to handle it, but to move on my behalf & open doors that I can't open on my own. Everyone has their own methods & ways that they get their tasks situated**.

There's mine.



Always a pleasure sharing with you, thank you.